Developer's Mad Lib

It's all about something I want as a developer, but am probably never going to get. Besides, I think Dante is hilarious.

1. [NOUN - something you badly want]
2. [NOUN - kind of hole]
3. [VERB - weak and miserable movement]
4. [PL. NOUN - something gaseous]
5. [NOUN - geometric shape]
6. [NOUN - an animal or species]
7. [NOUN - a colour]
8. [PL. NOUN - another animal or species]
9. [NOUN - name of someone famous but ugly]
10. [PL. NOUN - torture device]
11. [NOUN - body part]
12. [PAST TENSE VERB - some violent action]

The [1] resides at the bottom of a deep black [2] where the souls of the lost [3] forever amidst the [4] of despair. There in the Ninth [5] of Dread the [1] is buried head-down in [6] ordure, where pot-bellied [7] devils with the heads of [8] and the torsos of [9] in bikini underwear wield enormous red-hot [10] to cruelly yank out its [11], which magically grows back 5 minutes later, only to be [12] again. Abandon every hope, ye who enter here.